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I lost my vcard last year and since then I've only done stuff with 2 guys (I'm 23.)
2 weeks ago I went to do my pap smear and they tested me for HPV. They say HPV is a pretty common STD, and that 80% of the population has it, but very few are aware. I thought I was safe, since I only messed around twice, and all parties told me they were safe, no venereal diseases.
The thing is, HPV is undetectable in men, so they don't even know they're giving their partners a STD, until their s/o goes for a check up.
The guys I messed with - one was a guy that I dated for a little bit - we only messed around, no sex - and the other is my bf, who I actually did it with and I'm still with right now.
I'm not sure how I should feel, since my gut feeling is telling me it's probably my bf who gave it to me (HPV is a silent virus - it attaches to the host, is asymptomatic and since it's a virus, stays with the host pretty much forever) but he doesn't know.
But at the same time, I think it could be the other guy too. I mean, we did mess around and fluid was exchanged.
I feel so guilty and dirty about getting this disease. I love my bf, and I really don't want him to know that a) I've contracted this or 
I might've contracted this from him. Or worse, from the other guy.
It's unlikely for him to have any symptoms, but his perspective about me might change for the worse.
I don't want him to feel guilty, but I also feel like he should shoulder some of my burden.
I'm so conflicted.
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